A prodigal sheep

If you can’t seem to learn to love your job no matter how hard you tried to, which d’you think is the problem – is it you or your job? Would you rather stay hoping to get hold of the “passion” or take the risk of finding your own niche?  Would staying for another busy season be worth it or will it just be another delay of getting to where you should be? Should you leave your friends in the workplace or be enticed with the idea of expanding your connections? Would you be willing to give up your comfort zone or take a leap of courage for growth? Would you rather secure your career or sacrifice it for the sake of your family? If you were me… then what would it be?

I saw my friend psyched up preparing surprises for her boyfriend on their first year anniversary. I can’t help but to envy her for having one. While helping her out, I felt excited doing the same thing for my boyfriend (future). ; ) I wanna do art works (for the sake of surprises) for him; I wanna exchange mushy/corny whatever messages with him; I wanna take wacky pictures of us; I wanna hear his endearments to me and create funny pet names for him; hehe! (Sigh) Weeks later, she showed me the scrap book that her boyfriend had made for her birthday. I was so impressed! As in, I never thought that a guy could actually create something like that. I mean, you could really see the effort – very detailed artistic designs. As in! Oh well… I shall force my future boyfriend to make one for me. Hehe!        

When I was young, I used to think that women over 23 years old are so grown up that they should be married. But now being in my mid 20s, I still feel so young and so not ready to settle down. Haha! But of course I don’t even have a boyfriend to start that with. Honestly, I’m not troubled not having a boyfriend at this time but it just felt so weird how society puts pressure on women singles like my age. I am always a victim of “single blessedness”, “finding a boyfriend at the next life time”, “tiguyang na wala pay boyfriend”, “hapit na mulapas sa kalendaryo” comments/joke from my bully friends. I would just often laugh at them and say “I have faith”. Indeed I do! I believe that He has someone prepared especially for me. I see God as the perfect match maker! If I am single now, then it must be for a purpose. I could use this time to prepare myself into becoming the woman that my future boyfriend had prayed for. Same as he is also being shaped into becoming the man that I prayed for. I know that someday, I’ll have a love story to tell. True love waits!

I believe that we are vindicated by faith. It is not by works because if it were so, then man has something to boast about. Needless to say, we could never brag it before the Lord for we know that we all fall short of His glory. It is not through following the law because law in itself brings wrath. Why? Well, let’s say that we may have obeyed 90% of the law but at some point we have been a law breaker. So, we must be punished. Be it considered as “small sins” (e.g. hoarding a bond paper from the office for personal use, grumbling over a long queue, etc.) but then again we are still being held accountable to God. How then will we be justified by our works? We will never be made righteous by our own works! Salvation is received not by doing good but by believing. Truly it is man’s nature to work hard in order to gain something. Say, a student studies hard in order to have high grades; an employee works 8 hours a day in order to receive salary; a suitor makes every effort possible to win favor from the girl he likes. But God’s way of salvation is totally different. He has taken care of it through Jesus Christ.

Only when we believe in Jesus will God see us righteous. Why? Because our faith shows that we acknowledge God’s ability to blot out our sins. By the cross, we can live a new life – clean slate! No fret! Isn’t that great?

*devotions on Romans 4

Surprise #1.

August 21 (around 630 pm)

My friends in the office prepared a video clip for me. Super effort talaga! (As in,.. with all the blurring effect with everyone in the pictures except me). Thanks easterrific! The heart of the matter is that my cluster mates’ messages were written in acetate. Creative right?! Oh well, I get to be haunted by them like forever. Hehe! But of course, I can always use an alcohol in case I decided not to be bothered by them. Hehe! Joke, I vividly remember what tati had written to never get the messages near an alcohol. Sure I wouldn’t tati. Thanks so much tathayanna and for everyone who made the effort. Your messages had touched my very soul in ways more than you guys could ever imagine. Thanks for the love and friendship you’ve shared with me.

Surprise #2

August 21 (around 8pm)

My cellmates had given me a silver cross-shaped pendant! I’m s000 happeeeeeee! I was supposed to buy one. Well, it really is an advantage when your cell leader is your roommate since she knows what you really want. Hehe! Thanks murs and to my cell mates! I kind of kid the Lord that I think I had a rhema with the verse “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” since I got what I wanted when I finally decided to attend. (I must confess that I did plan, earlier that day, not to attend). I’m pretty sure that the Lord was referring to more meaningful ‘delighting oneself in Him’ but I’m sure glad I went. Not merely with the gift per se but more so with the message shared that night. It was so timely; I needed to be reminded to always have a right spirit. Aja!

Surprise #3

August 22 (1201am)

While I was going through the messages that my officemates had given (see surpise 1), my room8s and three housemates suddenly sang the most popular song “happy birthday” bringing a cake with them. The candle bearer was the “bida” in that whole act as she was carrying the candle like she was in some sort of a procession. That was really funny and we all just laughed about it. I didn’t know anything about the surprise… not even a hint. It’s either my roommates were good in acting or I must have been so engrossed with the messages. Anyhow, I was so touched! They are the only family I’ve got here in Makati and spending the first hours of my birthday with them feels like home. (Char!) Thank you guys for your messages and I pray that God will help me make them come true according to His perfect will.

…my phone was lost but now found!

Super Oh no! I lost my phone (or so i thought..)! I didn’t realize that I don’t have my phone ’til we finally went back to the hotel. I rummaged through my bag and found no moto. But still I didn’t fret so I was thinking it has to be somewhere. We were trying to recall where might it be and the only option left was I must have dropped it in the van but the driver couldn’t find it either. Oh boy, how can I be so “dori”. I was tempted to worry but I asked for His intervention. God’s answer could be so quick that when I called the driver later in the evening, he made mentioned that one of his passengers, employed in the company we are auditing, found my phone. It was a relief but I was still mulling over the “what ifs” since we’re going back to Makati later at 3:50pm (sheesh… just how fast my faith fell off). Thanks to my pareng Azi who reminded me to have faith. Though he was actually kidding me but it made me realize how my God had answered my first call, how much more will He be excited in bringing back my phone. Right Lord?!

Test blog… test blog…. I can’t wait to share my thoughts!